Genesis 15:1-21

“Do not fear…I am your shield”

This is the words that I long to hear said to me right now. For God to just say “I’m here. I have you. Everything will be fine. “. I so easily forget most days that I’m not alone. I remember times lying in bed wondering where the “God” was who said he would always be with me. I had such a hard time feeling him in my life and this just made me angry. I think that’s when I started to try. Notice how I said TRY to make it on my own. I can do it. I don’t need anyone’s help. If you’re going to break your promise then I’m just going out on my own.

But did I ever stop and wait. Be quite and listen for God. And so what if I did. I know it wasn’t very long. I’m stubborn. I’ll be the first to admit that. I want what I want and I want it now. Fitting that as I am sitting here today struggling with those very same feelings that I’m introduced to Abram and his story in the book of Genesis.

“God said to Abram, “Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a land that is not theirs, where they will be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years. “But I will also judge the nation whom they will serve, and afterward they will come out with many possessions.”

WOW!!! 400 years. God promises Abrams that he will have descendants whose numbers are countless like the stars. And that he will bring them to a land he promises to them. But only after 400 years of oppression?!?! I guess the few lousy months I’ve been waiting for God’s plan isn’t as long as I thought.

Maybe God didn’t just forget about me. Maybe there is still a work he is doing in my life. Maybe everything that’s happened up until now has been God leading me to the starting line of this journey. Because otherwise I would have been too pigheaded and stubborn to do it on my own. It’s a prayer I’ve been praying for a couple of days now. A prayer I don’t totally believe in but that I want to believe. And that is that God leaves me in a place that I don’t desire if it means bring me closer to him. If I can only I have one thing in my life be secure. I want it to be my relationship with him. So I’ll keep praying this prayer and ask God to soften me. Break me. And build me up to that person. After 26 years I haven’t done such a good job on my own. Maybe he was always there.

Genesis 12,13 an 14

Well I had my first root or rock along my journey Saturay and I must say that I did not handle it the way I was hoping. It was fitting that after Fridays post that I’d have to man up and see how I took my own advise. Let’s just say not as I had hoped. I was just thinking Friday of how much I have learned already in such a short amount of time and I started to feel pretty good about myself. My first mistake right there. This journey is not about self confience, self gradifcation. This is a journey about myself yes. But one where I learn to humble myself. One where I want to learn seek the glory of God. I’m so quick to praise myself for a job well done. When in reality it has nothing to do with me. I think I just hit my second leg of the journey. I’m glad it has come now. I’m tired of being a selfish person.

Genesis 10-11 and How i want my outlook on life to be.

“The saving grace is that it is not a race but a journey. I am not concerned about speed or time, just enjoying the adventure”-Rich Roll

This is my new outlook on everything. Life, endurnance, my relationship with God. So many times I let one bad day ruin everything about me. I can never step back and just look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture being that each day is only a small fraction of the bigger journey that is life. Everyday should be lived to the fullest because you never know when the journey will end, but I need to keep focusing on the now and forget what happened in the past. I can’t change the mistakes that happened yesteray. All I can do is focus on the journey at hand. I think of trail racing as a good comparison for my life. If you keep your mind focused on the path you just ran, you’ll never see the cliff you may be running towards. In trail running every step could be your last. There is always a hole, root or rock waiting to end your run. If you are too focused on your past mistakes or even victories you’ll miss the challanges facing you right now. You have to keep your head up, always focuse on what your doing. By becoming aware of your surroundings you can get to a state where you find joy in the challenges.

My relationship with Christ is the same way. I think I’m finally getting to a point where I’m starting. Starting to notice my surroundings. The holes, roots and rocks that are thrown at me to end my journey. I have to keep my head in the now. Not focusing on how good or bad my time was with God yesterday. When I dwell in the past is when I run off the cliff.

Remember it’s a joureny. Which means you do not have to reach the finish line today. But what it does mean is you have to be making strides towards that finish line. The only way to move foward is to look foward and live in the now. Remember yesteray got me to today, but that doesn’t mean that it has to influnce how I handle today. Watch out for the roots an rocks in todays journey. Not yestersdays.

Genesis 9:1-29

Defeated. That’s how I feel today. Just trying to survive. Sticking with the journey wasn’t easy today, but I did it. I’m exhausted. Both in body and soul. Praying for rest and hopes I can attack this chapter again before I go to bed.

**EDIT**

Hope. Trust. Grace. This seems to be the theme for the first leg of this 3 year journey I have decided to embark on. I continue to learn to lean on the HOPE of God and TRUST in his wonderful GRACE. Throughout the first 9 chapters of Genesis I have time and time again been blown away my Gods grace, protection and love for his people who he repeated reminds were made in his very own image. This is something that God has really been pounding on me about. “Greg you are my child, made in my very likeness. NOW LIVE LIKE IT”

Genesis 5-8

Still staying on track with my journey. I was afraid that with the busy (but fun) weekend the progress had started to make last week would get shoved to the back burner and I’d slowly slip back into old habits. God is good though and once again used Mike as a huge inspiration for me. Its amazing how the things in your life can become distractions taking your focus away from what’s important, but also if you approach it with the right mind frame those same things that once were distractions can become inspiration and motivation to keep striving forward in the right direction. Family, friends, work, endurance. All of these things use to take my time away, kept me distracted from seeking after God. Yet now that I am on this journey they are the very things that motivate me when I really need to stay on track. The ones the give me the inspiration that I needed. Gods using the very things that use to keep me from him to draw me closer to him.

It was fitting for me that the chapters that I read this weekend told the story of Noah. Stories like these use to upset me. Confuse me. But now I see these stories in a whole new light. How they once use to upset me they now bring me hope. I’ve began to see the grace of God. How he is always with us. Protecting us and providing for us. We just need to stop expecting it to be done the ways we won’t. I use to get upset when God would do things his way and not mine. Like my way was better then God’s. Like I knew what to do better then God did. Yet I’m reminded time and time again of men like Noah, Joseph and Paul who let go of what they wanted and let the grace of God take over and how they became more blessed then they ever thought possible. God is God. Sounds simple enough yet I’m just now starting to learn this.

Realizing how blessed you are is an amazing feeling

As I lay here in bed going into the last day of “guys weekend 2010″ I’ve realized for the first time how amazingly blessed I am. God has given me wonderful parents, a beautiful wife, a small dog with a big personality and the greatest group of friends I could have ever asked for. Life isn’t without its struggles and challenges. Right now even some of the hardest I’ve ever faced, but I find myself growing happy, feeling content, and understanding grace. After completing the first week of my challenge that I’ve given myself I have already began to feel my heart breaking, my wounds closing and my eyes opening. I love life! I can still get scared, I still have my own personal demons, but God has finally put me at a place where I’ve began to face those demons. He’s brought back old friends. Given me new ones to help out and is constantly reminding me that he is God and I am not. My life has been gutted. Being stripped down to bare essentials. Love, family, friends and most importantly God. I know there will continue to be challenges. Low times will come and I will once again fail at meeting my expectations of handling those challenges. But I’ll be picked back up, get dusted off and hit the trail. Remembering that life’s a journey. A journey where you run when you can, walk if you have to and crawl when you must. We know the destination. Now enjoy the ride.

Sometimes you need to train the soul

So Mike got in last night and for those of you who know us you know the love we share for endurance. Well we had planned to run as soon as he got in and it just so happened to be at 11:15pm. We were thinking of just doing a 20 to 30 min run to say we went out and ran at midnight. Well things different go exactly as planned. Oh we went out at midnight and ran. But that 20 min run ended 1 hour , 7 miles and one amazing conversation later. Sometimes you need to train the soul just as much as the body.

Running’s a beautiful thing. Most people go out and run for exercise. They want to be healthy or lose weight. Its not about that with us. It’s a spiritual thing. Its when we recharge. Reconnect with ourselves, each other and God. Its learning. Learning about your body, your mind and your heart and soul. Its feeling alive. Being reborn. It’s soul running. Remember, you need to train more then your body.

Genesis 4:1-26 and the upcoming weekend.

Ok so sometimes God just confuses the crap out of me. This is one of those times. I wonder if it’s me making the Bible harder then it really is. Or if God allowed some things in scripture just to confuse me even more.

Don’t get me wrong I totally believe that God has a reason for everything and he knows what he’s doing. But I got to tell you, its not always so clear to me. I’m going to read this again.

Do your best and give God your best. Do I really do this? Am I really giving God the best of my time, my mind. My heart and my trust. How often do I say “I trust God, and he will provide”. But lately I feel like I’m just saying it because it’s what I’m suppose to say. But I’m scared a lot of times. And I don’t really know what I’m scared of. I don’t know if it’s that I don’t think he will, can or just won’t do it in the way I want him to. I’m really hoping God uses this journey to break me. To tear me completely down and to help build me back up. I’m ready to be freed from myself.

On a more upbeat less serious but awesome turn of events my college roommate and brother from a different mother is flying in tonight for a much need (for the two of us) guys weekend. You can except lots of good talks, late nights, video games and many forms of endurance training. Its going to be a very fun weekend. One might even say it will be “Off the branches”

Genesis 3:1-24

Enter Sin!

When I first read this chapter of the bible I use to get so angry. Angry at Adam and Eve for disobeying God. Angry at God for punishing me for there sins. I didn’t eat the fruit, and if I was there I know I wouldn’t listen to Satan and be deceived by him. But the truth is I do listen to Satan. I listen to him everyday and more times then not I listen to him over the very word of God.

I think I understand this chapter now, at least for my life and I’m not as angry anymore. It’s quite the opposite now. You life and your decisions have consequences and, especially now the older I get and start a family, do those decisions impact others. My life’s not just about me anymore. Everything I do will impact another human being. Whether is my wife, future kids, family members or even close friends. The way I act and carry myself doesn’t just determine how my day will be. If I have a bad attitude and I’m grumpy and complain of course its going to impact my wife. Your attitude is contagious and no one wants to be around someone so selfish to think that their the only one with problems.

What about my future kids. How will they grow up if the are constantly seeing their dad in a bad mood. Not wanting to try new things. Pissed when life doesn’t go his way. I want them to grow up knowing that they can get through anything with hard work and leaning on the Lord for his strength. I want them to give thanks for each day given to them. So they can be a light to others. This all starts with me and how I start living my life. I’m not God by any means and I can control nothing. I need to learn to be thankful in the Lord always and when things go bad realize that I have a father who will see me through. It starts with my and my attitude and it has to start now.

Is it fair that I’m punished for Adam and Eve’s sins? Maybe, maybe not. But hey “C’est la vie” ” Go with what you got.”. I can’t change it. So time to start living

Genesis 2:1-25

“And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation”

How often to do forget this. To take time and sit in silence. Enjoying the beautiful work that God has made. I’ve made it a huge effort to try to reconnect with God and his creation. For years now I would wake up, role out of bed and throw on my running shoes and try to block out everything from my mind as I would putter along the dark streets early in the morning. How much of God’s creation have I been missing by blocking it from my mind. The way the moon casts that dim light. How the tree branches sway in the wind. So much I’ve taken for granted by not sitting and see God in his creation. I’m trying to reconnect. Get back to what’s important in life. Which brings me to the other verse that grabbed a hold of me..

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Gods blessings. This is what I take from this verse. Yes it shows the blessing of marriage. But for me it shows the blessings God gives us. Here he has made this perfect paradise. A place perfect with no sin. Yet he blessed Adam with a wife. Family. How much I take family for granted. So often I get caught up in my own trivial affairs that I forget that I was blessed with an amazing God loving and fearing family. A wife who I love. Parents who are proud of me, and in-laws who help out in more ways then I know how to thank them for. The older I get the more time I wish I could spend with family. Those few people I really love (blood and non-blood alike). So often I forget to just stop and thank the Lord (and them) for the huge impact they have made in my life.

This year I’ve made stronger effort on that front. I have along ways to go but I’m tired of wasting these many blessings given to me by our God. It’s time to get back to what’s important. Family. Friends. God and his beautiful world. Thank you to all those who have helped me step out of my shell. I’m excited to start what I feel to be the start of my life with you all.